Finding Calm After the Storm: Using Self-Soothe for Emotional Recovery

We all experience moments when emotions hit hard. Whether it's an overwhelming crisis, a challenging conversation, or just a rough day, those intense feelings can linger in our bodies and minds. Without proper recovery, we risk feeling stuck, drained, or on edge. That's where the self-soothe skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) comes in—a powerful tool designed to help you regain calm using your five senses.

Why Emotional Recovery Matters

Emotional recovery is just as important as physical recovery. After heightened emotions, our nervous system may still be in fight-or-flight mode, even if the crisis has passed. This can leave us feeling restless, anxious, or disconnected. Self-soothing through the five senses offers a simple yet effective way to signal your body and mind that it's safe to relax.

The key is to identify what your nervous system responds to best. Each person’s preferences are unique, so learning what works for you is essential.

Engaging Your Five Senses to Self-Soothe

Here’s how you can use your senses to ground yourself and find comfort after an emotionally overwhelming experience:

1. Sight:

Dim the lights and light a candle.

Look at calming visuals like nature scenes, a lava lamp, or soft colors.

Surround yourself with photos or objects that bring you comfort.

2. Sound:

Listen to soothing music, calming podcasts, or nature sounds.

Try white noise machines or meditation playlists designed for relaxation.

For some, silence may be the most soothing sound of all.

3. Smell:

Light a scented candle or incense that calms you.

Use essential oils like lavender, eucalyptus, or peppermint.

Spend time outdoors, inhaling fresh air, flowers, or rain-soaked earth.

4. Taste:

Sip warm tea, hot chocolate, or a comforting soup.

Try something with a rich flavor, like dark chocolate or fresh mint.

Chewing gum or sucking on a peppermint can provide a quick sensory shift.

5. Touch:

Wrap yourself in a soft blanket or wear cozy clothes.

Take a warm shower or soak in a bath with Epsom salts.

Engage in mindful movements like yoga, stretching, or gentle self-massage.

Customizing Your Self-Soothe Toolkit

Not every soothing method will resonate with you—and that’s okay. The key is to experiment and build a personalized toolkit of sensory-based strategies that effectively calm your nervous system. Try creating a "self-soothe box" filled with items like scented oils, calming music playlists, favorite snacks, and comforting textures so you have a go-to resource during tough moments.

The Power of Practice

Like any DBT skill, self-soothing takes practice. Start by experimenting with these strategies on neutral or mildly stressful days so you know what works best when emotions run high. Over time, your brain will learn to associate these sensory cues with safety and calm, making it easier to regulate yourself in challenging moments.

Finding What Works for You

Your nervous system is unique, and what relaxes one person may not work for another. Pay attention to what brings you comfort and helps you feel grounded. By discovering your ideal self-soothe strategies, you’re building a powerful tool for emotional recovery—one that offers calm, comfort, and resilience in the face of life’s storms.

If you’d like more guidance on building emotional regulation skills, reach out at AwakeDBT.com to learn more about DBT strategies and support.